


Wherein Sips Decides That He Needn't Be Quite So Straight After All, But Rigid Is Always Useful

by musegaarid



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Alcohol, Amnesia, M/M, Mahogany Doors, Sjips - Freeform, discussion of consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 23:39:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/855296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musegaarid/pseuds/musegaarid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sjin may do the building, but Sips has to do all the hard work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wherein Sips Decides That He Needn't Be Quite So Straight After All, But Rigid Is Always Useful

Sjin had a lot of distinct personalities, Sips mused. When he was really focused on a task, he tended to be distant, serious, and efficient. But if the work was repetitive and boring, he was playful, chatty, and a shade flirtatious. In big groups, Sjin was quiet, shy, and awkward, but with a couple of close friends, he was often quite goofy, displaying his wickedly sharp sense of humor, giggling, and sometimes saying stuff so filthy that even Sips was shocked. Occasionally, Sjin would act fearful and insecure, cringing a lot, and calling people 'Boss.' Sips wasn't sure what that was about, but it didn't happen often, so that was good. Alternately, Sjin could be somewhat manipulative and scheming when the mood struck him, but these moments were short-lived and infrequent, especially when Sips distracted him with some silly prank or a useless but fun project. Over the last year or so that they'd spent together, Sips had seen Sjin be varyingly defensive, angry, frustrated, creative, enthusiastic, clever, courageous, hesitant, sad, and gentle.

One thing Sips had never seen, however, was Sjin drunk. Until now. Apparently, drunk Sjin was loud, aggressive, and demanding. For Sips, it was a bit like looking into a mirror. A mirror that gave you a stupid-looking beard.

"Lalna! Where's your karaoke machine? C'mon and set it up already."

Sips rolled his eyes and ignored his partner. "What are we drinking, exactly?"

Peering through his glass to check the clarity, Lalna took another sip and set it down. "I call it Black Death."

"That's appropriate," said Sips.

Rummaging through Lalna's tech, Sjin started to sing off-key. "I believe in a thing called love. Something to the rhythm of my heart…"

"Well, you remember how the Black Stuff tasted like shit?"

Sips' reply was as fast as it was dry. "Yeah."

"I believe in a thing called love. Da da da da da da daaaaaaaa…"

"Well, I cross-pollinated the hops for the Black Stuff with some melons, and brewed the result. It tastes a lot better now, but it turned out really strong, so I call it Black Death."

Sips raised his eyebrows. "So, hypothetically, if someone were highly allergic to melons…"

"I believe in a thing called loooooooooooooooove…"

"Not a problem," shrugged Lalna. "In small quantities, it shouldn't affect anyone, and I wouldn't recommend anyone drink more than one glass of Black Death anyway."

"Sjin?" called Sips, when it had gotten suspiciously quiet. "How many beers have you had?"

"Um, three, I think. Was it three? Yeah, it was definitely five."

As smart as he was, Lalna was quick to catch on. "And I'm guessing Sjin has a less than hypothetical allergy to melons."

The two men turned just in time to watch Sjin teeter and crash to the floor.

"Well, at least he's still wearing some of his armor," said Sips impassively.

***

With Sjin safely tucked into Lalna's bed for the time being, the blond took Sips aside.

"So, the good news is that he's going to be okay."

Wondering how long this would delay the completion of the dirt factory, Sips asked, "And the bad news?"

"I think he'll be intoxicated for quite a while."

"Jesus. How long is quite a while?"

Lalna shrugged. "Haven't a clue. During that time, he'll be experiencing all of the standard effects of excessive alcohol consumption, including feelings of euphoria, increased self-confidence and sociability, decreased attention span and muscle coordination, heightened libido, and impaired judgment. Don't let him build, climb, fight monsters, or operate heavy machinery."

"Me? I'm not his babby sitter."

"Oh, that reminds me. He doesn't seem to remember you at the moment. Short-term amnesia, I think."

"What?!"

"Yup. The whole last year is completely wiped. It's quite interesting how the brain works, don't you think?"

When Sips replied, his voice was low and menacing. "Sjin doesn't remember me and you think that's 'interesting'? God, you're a bastard."

The scientist held up his hands defensively. "I'm sure it's only temporary. Think of it as a chance to get to know him again."

***

"Hey." Sips stepped into Lalna's bedroom.

Sjin looked up with the friendly but empty expression that people usually direct at waiters. "Hey… you."

His heart sunk. Sjin obviously didn't recognize him. "I'm Sips."

"Do I know you?"

"Yeah, we're partners." Geez, that sounded cold and corporate. "No, well, friends, really. Best friends."

Sjin eyed him up and down, taking in his dark hair and pale complexion. "We spend a lot of time together?"

"Pretty much all of it. We're building a factory. It keeps us busy."

"Cool," said Sjin. "So, how'd we meet?"

Sips pulled up a chair and swiveled it around so he could sit in it backwards. "After your house was destroyed by a couple of nuclear bombs, you were so desperate for work that you took a job as an exotic dancer on a luxury cruise line. As the CEO of a major corporation, I was naturally traveling first class. One night, I was in the nightclub with a whole harem of bitches while you were dancing in the corner for some blue-hairs. You were down to your loincloth and suspenders when you noticed that one of my bitches was holding a wireless transmitter. Jumping off the stage, you did three handsprings across the room and iced her with a double-leg guillotine twist. It would have been great if that was it, but it turned out that all my bitches were actually pirette ninja assassins in disguise. Unable to fight your way through so many, you grabbed the transmitter, threw me over your shoulder, and smashed through a window, pushing the button as we went and blowing up the whole ship dramatically in the background. A week later, we washed up on the shores of Minecraftia and began building our massive dirt empire."

Sjin's smile, which had grown wider as the story went on, turned into peals of laughter. "Brilliant! Oh, I like you. Now, how much of that is true?"

"Well, maybe a week is stretching it. We were in the water five days, tops. And I could have totally saved myself, for the record."

Sjin snorted. "Fine. Keep your secrets."

Sips stood up. "We don't know how long you'll have drunken amnesia, but I thought that if I took you around our compound, it might help you remember something. You know, to be in familiar surroundings and stuff."

"Why not?" Sjin kicked off the covers, jumped to his feet, and would have toppled right over if Sips hadn't caught him in time.

"Whoa. Easy, there."

Sjin smiled up at him. "Lead on, MacSips."

***

"Finally, this is the tower, which you also built." Sips pointed up at the massive structure, its intricate spire disappearing into the clouds.

Unexpectedly, Sjin pointed at the entrance and began to laugh. "Mahogany doors!" he said. "Mahogany doors!"

"Christ, not this again."

"No, on the tower. I put mahogany doors on the tower."

Sips crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I know. You wouldn't shut up about them then either."

Sjin opened and shut the door a few times. "My roommate at uni was also an architecture student and we had this code. Putting mahogany doors on a building meant that the inhabitant was stacked."

That was… more information than Sips had ever managed to gather about Sjin's past. He blinked. "We live here. Our suite is up in the penthouse."

"Oh?" said Sjin. "Oh! Uh, right. Can I see?"

Sips sighed and led him around the flat that Sjin had designed himself less than a month before. Sjin didn't remember any of it, but seemed pretty pleased with the result.

***

Since a recently constructed environment didn't work to jog Sjin's memory, Sips decided to try something older. He continued the tour at Honeydew, Inc., starting from the site of their first major argument and eventual equal partnership. "Everything on this side of the fence is part of the fake factory and admin center that we built in order to hide our real operations. Everything on that side is part of the cookie corp."

Sjin squinted at the various structures that dotted the landscape. "Including the roller coaster that terminates in a giant egg, a woolen cow with no legs, and a massive hot dog?"

"Yeah," Sips laughed. "Actually, you built the egg and the cow torso. I did the hot dog, though I still don't really understand why. We also added about six stories to the factory itself."

"Why are we helping a rival company build their factory?" Sjin asked.

Not willing to say anything about the giant head who had once ordered him around, Sips shrugged. "Because they couldn't find their ass with both hands."

Just then, Xephos walked out of the tiny front entrance to the Jaffa production facility, shaded his eyes, and stepped back to look up at the massive logo plastered across the front of the building. Sips expected Sjin to ask who the man was or what he was looking at, but Sjin wasn't looking where Xephos was looking. Instead he appeared to be staring _at_ Xephos.

"Mm, I could definitely help with that…"

What the hell? There was something really wrong with the covetous way that Sjin was eying Xephos, or more specifically, Xephos' snug trousers, like he wanted to crawl into them along with the current occupant. That was a disturbing thought. Remembering that one of the symptoms of alcohol consumption was an increased libido, Sips spoke quickly. "That's Xephos. He works here. For Honeydew." Not getting a response, he added, "I know he looks a little effeminate, but he is a man. You can tell by the beard."

"Oh, I can tell anyway," said Sjin with a smirk. "Damn. Well, at least now I understand why we help out over here. I bet I put a lot of ladders around that building in the hopes of following him up one."

Sips threw his arms up in the air. "Jesus, Sjin. Tell me the beer didn't make you gay. Please tell me that the beer did not make you gay. I can't deal with this. Seriously, Lalna is going to have to shoot me in the head with some kind of super-charged science gun."

It was Sjin's turn to laugh. "C'mon, Sips, how could beer make us any more gay than we already are? Are you jealous? Is that it? He's cute, baby, but don't worry. I'm sure you're the only cuddle bunny for me." He looked around and his voice dropped to a soft seductive purr. "There seems to be a quiet little work shed right over there. Why don't I prove it to you?" Sjin snaked his arm around Sips' waist and tried to pull him close, but Sips swiveled out of his grasp.

Incapable of any sensible reply, Sips started to splutter. So many responses were queuing up in his brain that nothing came out properly. "I'm not… cuddle bunny… the fuck?! We're not gay! Where did you get that crazy idea?!"

Stung from the rejection, Sjin stepped back, crossing his arms protectively across his chest. "Oh, I don't know," he replied flatly. "You've told me that we're partners, spend basically all of our time together, live in the same penthouse suite, wear matching skin-tight jumpsuits, and _sleep in the same bed_. I can put two and two together. It's pretty obvious that we're lovers. Did you think I'd freak out if you told me? Is it a big secret? Are we trying to get that guy for a threesome?" He gestured at Xephos. "Because, let me tell you…"

"No!" interrupted Sips, his voice a bit strangled. "He's taken. And straight. Very, very straight. Like me. And you. Although you apparently don't remember that. We are all about the bitches. Hot bitches to the left and to the right, B, A, B, A, start. The other stuff that we do is just friend stuff. We're buddies and… and we do friend things only. There are no benefits, whatsoever."

Sjin's face was a study in disbelief. "Buddies who sleep together."

"In the purely platonic sense of happening to share a piece of furniture that was designed for sleeping on, yes. In the sense of naked time and dongs, not even a little bit."

"The fact that two single beds were deliberately pushed together to form one large bed is not relevant somehow?"

"That was a joke!" Sips protested. "You said you sleep spread-eagle and I said I did, too, and you said that you'd have to sleep on top of me."

"And… that's why two supposedly straight men pushed their beds together?"

"You said what happens in the hovel, stays… Look, you know what, you had to be there to understand. You were there! But you don't remember. It's not… it's nothing _weird_."

Sjin held Sips' gaze for a long moment, then shook his head. "Nothing weird. Okay. I'm… I need to go for a walk, I think. I'll see you later."

"By yourself?" Sips glanced up at the sun rapidly moving toward the horizon. It was mid-afternoon. "There will be mobs out there pretty soon. You don't have any weapons. You're drunk. You can't…"

"Yeah, I think I can." And Sjin unknowingly wandered off in the direction of the bay and his defunct water park.

Sips' head was spinning. Unable to predict Sjin's moods, hardly able to even talk to him without all of their in-jokes and shared memories, and discomfited by the attempted seduction, Sips thought that following his friend would be a bad idea, but he also wanted Sjin to be safe, especially when he was unarmed and his reflexes were screwed up. He decided to ask Xep… Honeydew if he'd keep an eye on him while Sips ran an urgent errand.

***

"LAAAAAAALNAAAAAA!" Sips burst into Lalna's castle, breathing heavily. He'd run all the way.

"Sips? What's wrong?"

Trying to catch his breath, Sips was bent over at the waist. He struggled to speak. "Sjin…"

"Something happened to Sjin? Something else, I mean?"

Sips shook his head. "Sjin wants to have sex with me!"

Lalna pushed his goggles back and stared at Sips uncomprehendingly. "Yeah, and…?"

"What do you mean, yeah, and? That's not right! We have to sober him up!"

"We can't," said Lalna. "It's too dangerous. And I don't pretend to understand the relationship you two have, but you don't have to worry about anyone thinking that you're taking advantage of him. As long as you're in a long-term relationship and it's definitely consensual…"

"It's not consensual! I don't consent." In his agitation, Sips began to pace, making wide arm gestures. "For fuck's sake, Lalna, we're not like that. I've never had sex with Sjin."

Lalna was floored. "Really? Never?!"

"No!"

"But you sleep in the same bed…"

"I KNOW!"

"Uh, okay. Wow." Lalna sat on one of his crystal chests "We all thought that you were totally…" His voice faded out as he caught sight of Sips' expression. "Right. Um. How sure are you that Sjin is not like that?"

Sips stopped dead in his tracks. "What do you mean? Of course he's not!"

"Well," Lalna tried to think of a way to get his message across delicately. "I mean, the rumours have to come from somewhere, right? He's always following you around, even though you're kind of a jerk most of the time. He basically goes along with whatever you say. And we've all overheard the innuendo at times. I was at Honeydew's place the day you guys turned into dogs and he kept asking you if you wanted to yiff." Blotchy pink spots appeared on Lalna's cheeks.

"He's just joking," insisted Sips. "He says that kind of stuff all the time. It has to be the melon beer and the amnesia that made him gay."

Lalna pulled out his screwdriver and twisted it around in his hands. "Amnesia doesn't work that way. In movies, people forget their name and who they are and their personality can shift dramatically, but in real life, that's almost impossible without the kind of brain damage that would also make him a vegetable. Sjin may have forgotten the last year, but he knows who he is and what he likes. Maybe the lowered inhibitions allowed him to make a move, but if he says he's gay now, then he probably always has been and just never told you. I mean, I can see why he might not mention it. You're a bit… opinionated, you know. I'm sorry, Sips. But it will pass in time. I think. We should have the same old Sjin back soon."

For just a moment, Sips wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

***

When he returned to Honeydew, Inc., Sips ran into Xephos working out in the wheat field at night. The spaceman was scowling.

"What the hell is your problem?" Sips demanded.

Xephos gave him a long-suffering look. "Sjin felt me up."

"Oh, ah," Sips scratched the back of his head. "He's _really_ drunk right now. I wouldn't read anything into that."

"All the same, I think I'll stay out here for a while, thanks. There's only so much sexual harassment I can handle in one day. I'd rather take my chances with the zombies."

"Tell me about it," Sips agreed, heading for the factory.

***

Sjin and Honeydew were hanging out in the latter's bachelor pad on the top floor of the Jaffa factory.

"Sips!" called the dwarf in greeting. He was sitting in his pimped out hot tub with a mug of ale.

"You look comfortable," replied Sips dryly.

"Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

A giggle drew Sips' attention to where Sjin was sprawled at the edge of the tub. He looked more cheerful than he had a few hours ago. Had he forgotten their earlier discussion? Feeling awkward, Sips asked, "Did… Didn't you feel like getting in?"

"Oh, two men are not allowed in the hot tub without a buffer lady. It's the rules."

Honeydew quaffed half of his beer in one go and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Damn straight."

"Fuck that noise. The Sipsco hot tub doesn't have rules. We once had two guys and a sheep in there. Heh, I guess that would make it three guys."

Sjin chuckled. "Sounds like a lawless place."

"Hell, yeah. We got Lucy Lawless there, too. Wanna head back?"

"Sure." Sjin stood unsteadily.

Sips frowned. "You need some help?"

"Maybe. Honeydew held my arm when we came up."

"Okay." Sips took Sjin's elbow as they activated their flying rings to leave. "Bye, Honeydew. Thanks for your help."

From the hot tub, the dwarf raised his glass in a farewell salute. "See you later, shitlords."

***

On the long walk back to the compound, Sips tried to figure out how to suggest that they just go to bed – in separate beds – and deal with everything tomorrow. When they arrived at the penthouse, though, Sjin promptly solved the problem by falling across the foot of both beds, declaring himself exhausted. Unable to move his bed without shifting Sjin, Sips gave a mental shrug. It wasn't like they didn't sleep together anyway and Sjin surely wouldn't try anything again.

Pulling off Sjin's boots and then his own, Sips climbed into bed, twisting the blankets around so they were at least both covered. _Christ_ , he thought, finally relaxing into his pillow. _What a day._

"Sips?" murmured Sjin, his face pressed into the mattress away from Sips.

"Yeah?"

"Could I give you a blow job?"

Sips jolted up into a sitting position. Sjin didn't move. "What?!"

"A blow job, Sips. I'd like to suck your dick."

Said dick twitched a bit. "Sjin! I'm still not gay!"

"So?" came the sleepy reply.

"What do you mean, so? A straight guy doesn't want his dick sucked by another guy. That's kind of the definition of straight!" Although he was feeling flushed, Sips ignored the effect that this conversation was having on him. It had just been a long time and they were talking about sex, that was all. Some kind of reaction was perfectly natural and not gay at all. Still, he didn't want to advertise it, so he bunched the blankets in his lap.

Meanwhile, Sjin's shoulders twitched in a gesture that might have been a small horizontal shrug. "If you close your eyes, you'd hardly know whose mouth it is." He still wasn't looking at Sips.

"I…" Sips squeezed his eyes shut inadvertently. As this led immediately to fantasizing about blow jobs, he opened them again just as quickly. He took a deep breath, ready to be an adult about this, but feeling unaccountably sad, too. "Sjin, you don't remember anything we've been through or how we are together. You're also wasted, so your judgment is crap and you literally can't make good decisions right now. And let me tell you, buddy, this is one decision you'd really regret. I'd be such a shitty friend if I said yes. So… can we just get some sleep now? Before I need to eat a pint of chocolate ice cream and watch a Lifetime movie."

Sjin slowly turned his head. In contrast to his lethargic pose, his eyes burned in the darkness. "Please. I need this, Sips."

Sips froze. It suddenly occurred to him that Sjin never asked for anything. Ever. Sure, he offered opinions on things, but if there was a disagreement, they always did what Sips wanted. Sips was well aware that he was a selfish bastard, but he hadn't realized that Sjin contributed to that by practically erasing himself. That thought, combined with the pathetic puppy eyes meant he was going to do this, wasn't he. _Fuck_.

He flopped back onto the bed, speaking to the ceiling. "If little Sips isn't interested, we are never speaking of this again."

***

Some time later, Sips lay in a limp heap with Sjin curled up quietly satisfied next to him. If that was what being gay was like, he'd seriously have to reconsider his heterosexuality. Or maybe it was just Sjin. Did the rotten bastard have to be good at everything? It could give a guy a complex.

"It's really too bad that you're going to hate me later," he mused out loud. "Because that was fantastic."

Sjin's lips twitched. "I could never hate you, Sips. You might hate me, though. Do you remember that time I told you that I was from New Zealand, but it wasn't true?"

"Yeah."

"So do I."

It took Sips several seconds to realize the implication. He grabbed Sjin's shoulder to peer into his face. "You… you remember?"

"I got my memory back after half an hour of listening to Honeydew talk about pigs."

"Goddamn… You're not even drunk anymore are you?"

Unable to meet Sips' eye, Sjin shook his head.

Sips was utterly confused. "I don't… Why did you pretend you were, then?"

"I thought… well, I thought it was the only way you'd ever let me…" his voice trailed off.

"You figured it was a good excuse in case anything backfired," Sips translated.

There was no reply.

"Wait, so when you grabbed Xephos' ass, you weren't…"

Sjin stifled a giggle.

"You son of a bitch," said Sips without heat. He was too relaxed to be particularly angry. "How long have you wanted this?"

"I… I dunno. For a while."

Sips looked over at his partner and friend. "And now what?"

Looking startled, Sjin quickly said, "I don't expect anything. This was all I wanted. Just once. I know you're not gay and can't return… Sips, I don't want anything to change. I'm happy here. With you. As we are. I don't want it to get weird."

Sips sighed. "Well, Sjin, I suppose you know that your one year anniversary with Sipsco is coming up, so it's about time to review your contract."

"It is?"

"And you've been a damn good employee. I can't say that you haven't."

Sjin's expression was tight and scared.

"So I'm afraid that I'm going to have to start offering you benefits. Not, you know, medical. Or dental. No 401k or stock options either. Or paid time off for sick days or vacation."

"No?"

Sips grinned. "No. Just general friendship with benefits. Good business is all about compromise."

Sjin's face cleared and he smiled back brightly. "Ohh, _benefits_. Well, I mean, if you think I've earned them… Thanks, boss."

"Now would you go to sleep, you big dummy?"

With a sigh, Sjin snuggled into Sips who put a protective arm around him. This could work, Sips thought, as long as everyone remembered who the big spoon was.

As he began to drift off, Sips realized that he'd now seen Sjin be seductive, sexy, sleepy, and soft. He distantly wondered how many more facets of Sjin he had yet to meet. And how many of them gave killer blow jobs…


End file.
